Writer's Hours

Inspiration doesn’t work on a 9-5 schedule, which is a problem. When I’m trying to conquer my insomnia, the last thing I want is for my mind to race through ideas for stories. I get so frustrated when I see that it is 2 or 3 in the morning, and I’m still jacked with the energy I didn’t have during the day. I want to sleep, but as anyone who has ever dealt with insomnia can tell you, there is no way to switch off and go to bed. My mind races at times when I should be asleep, but I am powerless to stop the frustrating bursts of creativity. 

Writing requires the motivation to jot down ideas immediately when they happen. I’m good at that. I have a backlog of stories that I return to late at night when I can’t sleep. I build the straw man and fill out the rest until I get a complete story. At that point, the exhaustion finally kicks in, and I end up not adding anything valuable to my stories. That is the time when I feel discouraged and worthless. I tell myself that I must go on, but lethargy and apathy take over, and I have to force myself out of these dark periods.

As time passes, I keep thinking about things that distract me from writing, at least in my mind. I want a better writing setup for the Mac, but I need more room to fit everything. So, I’m stuck with a tiny table that holds the Mac, and there isn’t room for much else. I don’t have the money or the room for a better desk, so thinking about this only makes me crazy. I need to stop. Just looking at the setup depresses me, but like I said, things cannot be changed right now.

Since I cannot clean up the small writing space, I must focus on clearing my story backlog. I sometimes use my MacBook in the living room or at the kitchen table, but that lacks the feel of permanence I crave. I won’t let that stop me from writing. I have to reset my mind on what I can care for in the present.

An old saying goes, “Write without fear, edit without mercy.” I must follow that advice closely as I clear out my story backlog. I won’t gain any followers if I produce crap writing. I don’t have any inner deadlines for my material. I don’t need to rush things, but often, I want to get something out there for my relief. I prefer to find and correct my mistakes before letting the world see them because I was careless and neglected to take my time.

Once I have done all that, I can only accept the results and learn from my mistakes as I struggle to become a better writer in the future.