Why I can’t stand my extended family -part 4

I’m going to close out my stories about my extended family with this last episode. Once again, I was a child, I cannot remember if this happened, but it was between 1972 and 1974. My memory isn’t sharp on this for reasons that will become clear later in this story.

I mentioned that I had one cousin, Judy, who was always wonderful to me. She was 16 years older, and she had kids of her own by this time. I tried to establish and maintain friendships with her children, some of whom were mention in the reunion story that I published as Part 2 with the same title.

Whatever summer that happened to be, Judy and her husband, who worked as editor and feature writer at the local paper, decided to take their family to Disney World. Remember that Disney World was still very new at that time, and a marvelous place to dream about seeing. They had an awesome time, pictures were shared after they came back from the FotoMart of course. I envied them but they were bonito my parents and siblings, so I went on with my life.

Fast forward approximately 30 years. I was on my own, with my partner Hal, when my Mom got very sick. Dad died in 1981, so Mom was the only real family I has left. I rushed back home to be with Mom, Hal followed as quickly as he could. I was a wreck, and Judy helped me through the tough times.

Mom dies soon after I arrived. I was grief-stricken but I managed to get things taken care of because Mom and Dad taught me to be able to handle whatever life threw at me. Judy was a great help, and we talked about many things, including why were so distant. I explained to her some of the things that happened through the years, things that my earlier stories cover in detail. Judy was shocked at what I had experiences at the hands of her mother, Gladys.

It should be mentioned that Gladys did NOT attend Mom’s funeral. She claimed sickness, but she knew that she would have to face me without Mom to restrain me. The aunts and uncles descend to Gladys’ house and tried to start poking around to see what the financial situation after Mom died. I verbally bitch-slapped them whenever they tried to approach me because I knew they wanted something, and they weren’t getting it from me.

The during one of our conversations, Judy told me a secret that she had kept for years. Back in the summer of whatever year the Disney World trip was, Judy and her husband, Ron, wanted to take ne with their family to Florida for the vacation. The plan never got off the ground because Judy inadvertently mentioned it to Gladys, and Gladys had a fit.

Gladys told Judy that they should not take me to Florida because I was a troublemaker, just like my Dad. I always knew that Gladys hated my Dad, and by extension, me as well. Gladys knew that Dad and I kept Mom from falling into Gladys’ orbit. Gladys had unbelievable control over her children and grandchildren, so when Gladys said don’t take me with them, that was the end of the discussion. I believe that Judy’s husband Ron didn’t want to have another argument with Gladys, so he kept quiet.

I wasn’t really surprised to hear that Gladys did something like that. I also wasn’t surprised that Judy had kept the secret from me for so many years. The only relative on Mom’s side of the family that I felt close to had kept that secret, but I wasn’t mad at her because I knew how controlled she was.

So, I missed out on a trip to Disney World, a chance to bond with my cousins, all because of Gladys. There was no point being angry , I felt bad for Judy and Ron for trying to be nice, but being blocked.

When people ask me how much control Gladys had over her kids, I tell them the true story that Hal can verify. Gladys finally died several years after Mom die. Judy took over a month to go through every single item in Gladys’ house, she took some of Gladys’ old nightgowns for herself. The sickest part…. Judy took Gladys’ phone number for her own because all of Gladys’ offspring and their families had that phone number tattooed on their brains. That is just sick.

The Pugh my 50+ years, there are people who are amazed that I am related to the well-known family that ran the local newspaper. They were widely respected and well-liked. They never mentioned Mom, Dad, or myself. That is another example of how deeply Gladys’ claws were into her family.

At any rate, if you’ve followed these stories, you now know why I hate my extended family.