National Donut Day? WTF?

As if Americans aren’t already obese enough, now we’re subjected to “National Donut Day,” which was obviously the aborted brainchild of some

350-pound internet food porn junkie, waiting to haul his ass out of the basement he lives in. Once he recovers from that exertion and from the hunger pains his pork-rind-scented sweat conjures in his mind, he’ll waddle over and try to steal Mom’s car keys so he can make a Krispy Kreme or Dunkin run, depending on where he lives.

I’m sure he started an online petition to establish “National Donut Day” with some of his online friends, since he probably doesn’t have any other kind, while playing Call of Duty at 0330 in the morning while jakked on Mountain Dew.

Honestly, why do we need another inducement to make pigs of ourselves?