January 24, 2024

Today is a recovery day for me. The dental surgery went well and I'm adjusting to my temporary bridge to cover the gap where two teeth were extracted. I won't be eating anything brittle for a while, today I might try some soup or mashed potatoes.

On the bright side, since I fasted before the surgery and couldn't eat anything afterward, my blood glucose has stayed stable. Perhaps I can learn from this and better control my appetite.

Hal was wonderfully supportive yesterday, and he is still monitoring my condition today.

Today, I also spent additional time meditating because I've never liked my physical appearance. I hate cameras when they are pointed at me, and I do not best to avoid them. Imagine how that feeling is not in Ed when I now have a gaping hole in the front of my mouth. I look like a hockey player. I needed the extra meditation to remind myself that I haven't changed on the inside, I now have a temporary bridge that covers up the gap in my mouth.

People who thought I was unattractive before will still think so, but my friends won't care about the dental situation because they see me as the total package, inside and out. In either case, I can only be myself. I must live in the moment, and be at peace with it.

I read about an exercise in Stoicism that helped me. Take a piece of paper and draw a small circle in the middle, then draw the largest circle that can fit on the page. Carefully think honestly, and put the things you can directly control in the small circle. Then everything else fits into the larger circle. Focus on the small circle.