January 14, 2024

I'm stuck in a rut here. Every day seems like the day before, with little or no variation to distinguish them. It must be a part of growing older that I hadn't anticipated when I was younger. 

Things aren't that bad, though. I find myself enjoying the peace and quiet more than I used to. I watch less TV than ever before. I usually turn it off when Hal leaves the room. Of course, I always ask him if that's ok because he might want to watch something that interests him. 

On the other hand, I am a former news and information junkie. For years, I would try to follow every important story. I would try to discern facts from misinformation to make my decisions. Then I was hospitalized and figured out that the world didn't give a shit about what I thought. All of my attempts to comment on issues of the day were just dust in the wind.

I started to see the world around me in a different way. The little things meant more than the earth-shaking events. I focused on myself rather than everyone else for the first time in my life, and I felt so much better. A quiet conversation with Hal meant more to me than before. Being together became even more unique. Even our little routine of lunch at McDonald's is something that we both look forward to now. 

I started to focus on my writing, as elementary as it is. I wanted to share the beautiful things that have happened to me over the last three and a half years. Things didn't change overnight. There was a steep and painful learning curve as I wrote more and more. I never attempted to compare myself to other writers because I feel my writing is a self-expression, and so is theirs. Comparing with or criticizing others is pointless and ruins the Kindness and Karma I have tried for so long to achieve. 

So yes, this must sound incredibly boring to the reader, but I'm just being honest. I hope everyone is safe and warm. Remember to be Kind to one another.