I slipped and fell

Vertigo has been a daily part of my life for nearly four years. I have occasional episodes, so I talk with hiking sticks rather than a cane because I'm never quite sure which way I might keel over to. Some episodes are worse than others, but physical therapy has helped me a great deal, helping me to deal with this problem. The suspicion is that I have suffered some neurological damage. I am scheduled to see a neural surgeon later this month. I hope they can tell me something to help with this condition.

While in the shower this morning, I suddenly felt dizzy and lightheaded, much more than usual. I didn't black out, but I could feel the loss of balance hitting me. I tried to steady myself, but I felt like a building whose foundation had collapsed, and I knew I wouldn't be on my feet for long. There was nothing to grab onto in the shower to prevent the impending fall. 

The fall itself was far from graceful. It wasn't a swoon, but it wasn't a total sudden collapse. I felt myself beginning to fall, and I made a relatively smooth glide to the bottom of the tub. I’m thankful for that because I didn't hit anything violently as I fell.

My efforts to control my descent kept me from any serious bodily injury. I fell smoothly into the tub rather than slamming my body against the tub. I felt disoriented even after I came to rest at the bottom of the tub. I was completely aware the whole time. I didn't black out, but the world was still spinning with me at the center.

I ended up in the fetal position in the shower, still trying to recover my wits. At least the water still falling on me was warm. I felt ashamed of my situation because I knew it would be challenging to get back up and out of the shower. I knew I had to call for help, but I was still ashamed of my position.

Hal was there in less than thirty seconds to see what happened and assist me back up to a standing position. He immediately started asking questions about what had happened and clarified that he would be there until I rinsed off and exited the shower. I am still trying to figure out what I would do without Hal, and I don't want to find out.

I can't describe the shame I felt. I never want to be an invalid, to be a burden to someone, but I cannot fight the effects of aging either. I need to monitor my health closely and keep in touch with my doctors regularly so nothing else goes wrong suddenly. I wrote down the notes from this episode for my doctor. 

Be kind to each other. You never know when you can help someone or they can help you.