Duck Fiabetes
Having diabetes is no fun at all. In my case, it is something of a family curse from my father's side. There is definitely a genetic predisposition, to say the least.
The constant monitoring of my blood glucose is a real downer. The best I can hope for is something others take for granted: a regular reading.
In the nearly 20 years since I was officially diagnosed, the “normal” range keeps getting smaller and smaller. Maintaining normal is more complicated than ever, but I keep fighting to stay as close as possible. There are days when I think about giving up, but I have too much to live for. I want to live the best possible life and maintain a positive outlook for the future.
On the days when I maintain normal, I feel good about myself. Conversely, I really have to fight off depression on the days when my blood glucose resists every effort to control it. Some days, the proactive approach seems to work perfectly. Other times, I have to react to changes I didn't expect. Therefore, each day is a challenge. I'm not sure what I'll face when I get up in the morning, and I have to ensure I have control before I go to bed.
My biggest fear is waking up in the middle of the night, sweating profusely because my blood sugar is dropping. It feels like you're falling down an elevator shaft, but you don't know when you will hit the bottom. It's the worst feeling in the world. When I hear my iPhone alarm in the middle of the night, I cringe because I know I'll be awake for at least one hour to get things under control again.
The most important thing I learned in the hospital was that maintaining a positive attitude is the key to managing diabetes. Depression is an easy way out of the responsibility I have to myself to stay as healthy as possible.
Every morning, I meditate and visualize a good diabetes day. When we go out, I always take my insulin and snacks to cover most emergencies I might encounter. Hal is always with me just in case I need help.
Regardless of what this might sound like, diabetes does not define me. I refuse to be another statistic. I will triumph over this condition as long as possible.