25 Years

Time is a tricky thing, isn’t it? It can zip by like a speeding bullet or drag on forever, depending on how we look at it. But here’s the thing: our perspective is the key to how we experience the passage of time.

Take 25 years, for example. There are 9,132 days that pass during that time, but we never count them. Each day feels just like the last when we try to remember all but the most important moments in our lives. We just live through the days without a second thought.

The same goes for the 1,344 weeks and 4 days that make up 25 years. Can we really remember what we did 14 years ago on a specific week or day? Probably not, but that doesn’t mean each day isn’t important.

Somewhere along the way, in those 219,268 hours of life, we experience the highs and lows, our triumphs and tragedies. They all blend together into the past and are almost completely forgotten. The 13,150,080 minutes seem meaningless when we look at them individually, but we can only try to cherish each one as they pass by.

25 years ago, I had one of those rare moments in time that changed my life forever. I was leaving the Navy, and I was all alone in the world except for my mom. Her health was much worse than I knew, and she didn’t want to worry me while I was away defending our nation. She had been putting off going to the doctor for years because she didn’t want to burden me. I decided that it was my responsibility to take care of her. Unfortunately, her neglect was slowly killing her, and she wouldn’t last more than a year after I left the Navy.

I was on the brink of turning 36, and I felt like my life was going nowhere. Unusually for my age, I had never been married, and I had had a few close calls, but something always went wrong. Looking back now, I’m grateful for that because I didn’t end up with a messy divorce or child support payments. Even with that, I still knew that I was missing something in my life.

I was your average sailor - I drank too much and smoked too much. I didn’t worry about missing people when I came back from deployments because there was always someone waiting to greet me. Little did I know, I was already battling anxiety and depression, which was slowly crushing my spirit.

I knew I was gay, but I kept it hidden during my time in the Navy. The weight of living that double life was taking a toll on me. After I left the Navy, I felt like I was just going through the motions of life, with no end or purpose.

Then, something incredible happened. It was a moment that changed my life forever, something I never thought I’d find. Hal walked into my life, and everything changed. I quit drinking within three months, but it took me many more years to quit smoking. But eventually, I did.

Hal filled that void in my life that had been keeping me from happiness. I wouldn’t be here today, writing this, if not for him. I love him more than life itself.

Exceptional things do happen. It happened to me 25 years ago today.

Be kind to each other.